The Blessed Mother, who was recently spotted inhabiting a hunk of chocolate, has taken up residence on the plastron of a cute little turtlekins. The visage of the Virgin of the Turtles appears to be from her Cubist period.
Tag: religion
Friday Report
We had a glorious sunset Wednesday evening. The sky was deep aquamarine with pinky-orange clouds. It was absolutely stunning. It didn’t last long, though. In the half minute it took me to run indoors and grab my camera, the colors were already fading.
Happy Friday, everyone!
Weather Report: It looks like it’s going to start raining any minute. O ick.
Road Report: They are finally starting to pave 17th street. Yesterday morning, as I went to work, the street zamboni was out. Only, instead of cleaning the street, it was parked right smack dab in the center of the Walnut & 17th intersection, with no one in it. I realize it was ass-early in the morning, and that things are pretty quiet with the students on break, but still, that’s no reason to park maintenance equipment in the middle of the freaking intersection. For added entertainment value, the Pepsi bottling company is on that intersection, and their trucks were having trouble pulling out and around the zamboni. Wheee!
Asshole Driver Report: I was behind an articulated logging truck this ayem. Good, good fun, that was. I was careful to stay well clear of him, which, of course, meant that the asswagon behind me was attached to my bumper. I just love it when people tailgate so closely that I can’t even see their headlights. Grrr. Also, too, additionally, as well, I have noticed that, since plastering the back of my car with all manner of pinko leftiness, folks slow down and crane their necks to look at the crazy person whenever I make a turn. Who knew that driving could be a form of performance art?
Big Brother Report: What is wrong with those people? They haven’t got a brain between the lot of them, and there isn’t a sympathetic one in the bunch. I can usually find someone I can talk myself into supporting, but this season, they all suck. I found it amusing last week, when Janelle nominated Erika for eviction, ostensibly on the grounds that she “despised” Erika’s “under the radar” style of game play. Well, they are all, with the possible exception of James (who is loathsome for other reasons) playing safe games. So far, none of them have been forced to do anything to rock the boat or to exceed their comfort zones. But, I’ll give George credit. He put James up for eviction. I didn’t think he’d have the guts, or, frankly, the brains, to do that.
Virgin Mary Report: The Blessed Mother’s visage has turned up in a lump of chocolate (via CBS).
Sky Report: Nothing of note locally, because it’s too cloudy to matter, but if you live relatively northish or southish, keep an eye (or two!) out for aurorae. There is a coronal mass ejection headed toward Earth, which could result in aurora-producing geomagnetic storms either tonight or tomorrow. We don’t usually get aurorae this far south, but it can and does, occasionally, happen. More info is available at SpaceWeather.com. Be sure to check out the sunspot gallery, while you’re there.
Pareidolia
Holy asparagus, Batman!
It appears that The Son of God has been potted. The owner of said visage reckons it’s better than Mother-Theresa-in-a-Bagel. I tend to agree.
My favorite, though, is the “artist’s impression of Jesus” included in the article. I mean, it’s good of them to point out that it–unlike the fifty brazillion other depictions of Christ–is only an artist’s interpretation, because otherwise, we might think it was photographic proof or something.
Boggle.
And, as if potting weren’t enough, the aforementioned Lamb o’ God shall also be cubed. Another artist’s impression of Jesus has twice lost his right hand to vandals. As a prophylactic measure, after the hand has regenerated, the statue will be placed in a Plexiglas cube. Personally, I think the cube should not be transparent. It could be a physics experiment, e.g. Schroedinger’s Christ. It would also force folks to take it on faith that Jesus was, indeed, in the box. And then there’s the endlessly entertaining gag: “What’s in the Booooooooox?!”
Also, I have now added two more phrases to my Cursing for Jesus repertoire: Christ in a Pot and Christ in a Box.
Teh Enb.
It Takes a Screw and a Nut
Oh. My. Gawd.
A frothing rant on Teh Gay Menace by wacky preacher man Willie Wilson has been delightfully Flash animated by the folks over at Something Awful. I cannot recommend it enough. Really. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it’s way better than Cats.
Enjoy!
Creationism = Paganism
It’s official. The Vatican’s astronomer, Brother Guy Consolmagno, says that Creationism is “a kind of Paganism,” so it must be true!
Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and keep it close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which at the end of the day is a kind of paganism – it’s turning God into a nature god. And science needs religion in order to have a conscience, to know that, just because something is possible, it may not be a good thing to do.
Not that fundamentalist Christians will give the proverbial rat’s behindermost, because they dismiss Catholicism as a kind of Paganism.
From the Department of Squick
This (via Feministing) has been making the rounds. I haven’t written about it because, frankly, where would I begin? There’s more squick than you can shake a stick at. One detail keeps leaping out at me, though, so I’m going to mention it here. From the pledge itself (emphasis mine):
I, (daughter’s name)’s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.
Folks, “covering” is a livestock breeding term. It means just what you’d think–during breeding, the male literally “covers” the female. I don’t care how many ways these creeps justify a father’s obsession with his daughter’s hymen (well, I do, but again, where to start?), however, the breeding lingo has got to go. My eyes! It blinds us!
And in Not-So-Awful Christian News…
Check this out:
Check out, too, their core beliefs:
From the section on Christian Love of Neighbors. Number 8 is especially heartening, in light of the Ramsey quote D referrenced.
5. Engaging people authentically, as Jesus did, treating all as creations made in God’s very image, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, age, physical or mental ability, nationality, or economic class;
6. Standing, as Jesus does, with the outcast and oppressed, the denigrated and afflicted, seeking peace and justice with or without the support of others;
7. Preserving religious freedom and the Church’s ability to speak prophetically to government by resisting the commingling of Church and State;
8. Walking humbly with God, acknowledging our own shortcomings while honestly seeking to understand and call forth the best in others, including those who consider us their enemies;
Thank you! The whole thing is quite short. I recommend reading it.
Speaking of Awful Christians…
So I was reading an article about the discovery of fossil evidence of a missing link between Australopithecines and Ardipithecus. Basically, this critter is the elusive missing link. That must really piss off the Christian Fundies. Actually, it probably doesn’t, because they don’t seem to be too concerned with science in general (e.g. the insistence that emergency contraception is an “abortion pill,” when in fact, that is not at all how it functions). Science-schmiance, eh?
Even given Fundies’ total disrespect for science, I don’t understand their refusal to acknowledge evolution. It’s such a basic process, and it occurs right under our noses. How do they think virus mutation works? Surely they understand that HIV, avian flu, colds, and other viruses change over time? That’s the reason why vaccines are so difficult to produce. If viruses didn’t evolve, we’d’ve long since cured the common cold. And bacteria do it, too. We now have antibiotic-resistant tuberculosis, enterococcus, staphylococcus, streptococcus, pneumococcus, gonorrhea, sinusitis, salmonella, e. coli, blah, blah, blah.
Speaking of Christians and Righteous Indignation…
This is not completely on-topic re Paul Ramsey, but it does seem to be part of the same pathology.
There is a growing trend among ultra-conservative Christians toward claiming the “right” to abuse those whose way of life they do not condone. There is an interesting, um, scary, article in the LA Times on the subject. For example, Christians are charging that the laws that protect gays are actually illegal because they impinge on Christians’ “right” to “freedom of expression.”
Malhotra says her Christian faith compels her to speak out against homosexuality. But the Georgia Institute of Technology, where she’s a senior, bans speech that puts down others because of their sexual orientation.
Malhotra sees that as an unacceptable infringement on her right to religious expression. So she’s demanding that Georgia Tech revoke its tolerance policy.
By freedom of religious expression, she means “carte blanche to harass and abuse.” Nice. Apparently, conservative Christians feel that their right to be “Christian” is being hampered by their inability to harangue others. Who knew that Christian = intolerant godbag? Jesus, I feel sure, is weeping.
I see very little that is compassionate in the behavior of most conservative Christians–certainly not from those who are in power. I think the upper eschelons–like BushCo–are not in the least bit Christian. In fact, my understanding is that W had an epiphany of the political sort prior to becoming “reborn.” He knew what a large and maleable political base like the conservative Christians, could do for his career. His religious persona was well orchestrated, and had nothing whatsoever to do with faith and everything to do with greed and lust for power.
Anyway, BushCo–a divider, not a uniter!–has done its damnedest to polarize this country. Everything he’s done has been toward that end. The more people are polarized, the more they distrust and hate each other, the less they trust each other, the less they are willing to actually listen to each other. That suits BushCo just fine, thankyouverymuch.
What that has done is make people–especially hard-line conservative Christians–paranoid that anyone who isn’t also hard-line and conservative and Christian, is out to get them. If you aren’t for them, you’re against them, and are part of a liberal (or Muslim, take your pick) plot to destroy Christianity.
It’s hard to come back down to earth, and to look at things objectively, when you’re consumed with paranoia that The Other Guy is out to destroy your way of life, so it’s no wonder that those who believe that their religion and way of life are under attack would also be willing to buy into the justification for an all-out holy war upon those folks they believe are on a mission of world domination: Muslims. If you make a large enough mountain out of your little mole hill, the ends suddenly seem thoroughly justified. Because, remember, it is a Christian’s right to harass (or drop bombs on) those who are perceived as threatening said Christian’s right to abuse them. How’s that for nice, circular, um, logic?
Those Wacky Mormons
So, as I’ve been going through all this genealogy BS, I’ve come across a metric ass-load of references to the phrase “sealed to parent/child,” along with recent-ish dates. Wondering what on earth that might mean, I went a-Googling. Lo and behold, it refers to LDS baptism and binding. Basically, no matter when you died, or, apparently, what your faith was when you keeled over (boggle), your present day descendants, if they are endowed[1] LDS members, can opt to have you baptized and sealed to them. In other words, your spirits are then eternally bound together.
Now, I’m all for folks practicing whatever sort of religious nonsense floats their boats, but I think it’s of the utmost importance for people to have free choice of which flavor of Kool-Aid they prefer to drink. I’m squicked out by the thought that hundreds of years after someone’s death, their descendants can fool around with their eternal souls. I think that definitely qualifies as spiritual “Bad Touch.”
I’m just trying to imagine how some of the Quakers I’ve been researching would react if they found out their souls were being enshrined against their wills in some sort of Mormon death cult. I mean, these were folks who took their own brand of religion seriously enough that they were willing to come to the “new world” in order to practice it freely. They also don’t strike me as folks who were into super secret rituals.
They’ve also tried to co-opt CS Lewis’ immortal soul. And, not just once or twice, either. There have been multiple endowments (again, whatever the hell that means), posthumous baptisms, and sealings performed on his, um, behalf. It’s not like he was some sort of vaguely spiritual person who might’ve converted to Mormonism if he’d gotten half a chance. It would have been plenty bad enough if he were. However, he was devoutly C of E. I can’t imagine that he would’ve consented to being converted to Mormonism.
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[1] What endowment means is anyone’s guess. It apparently entails participating in an uber-s00per-s33kr1t ceremony that none must speak of ever after.
red paper boat 