Tag: dreams

I had the weirdest dream this morning.

I came home and found that the obnoxious Cadillac from #5 was in my spot, only it was parked sideways, taking up three spaces. But because of bizarro dream physics, there was plenty of room for me to pull into my spot, blocking the Cadillac in. So I did. And then Mr. #5 came out and begged me to give him just five minutes to move his car, which I begrudgingly did.

I backed up my car and sat, waiting. And then I noticed that an ambulance was parked across my apartment door, blocking the entry. Okaythen! I may as well wait for Mr. #5 to move his car, because I can’t get into my apartment, anyway. So I did. And while I was waiting, the paramedics brought out a baby. In an aquarium. As I looked more closely, I saw that the baby was lying on its stomach, but lifting itself up with its front arms. Like a lizard. And then I looked even more closely, and saw that the baby was half lizard. A-ha! That’s why it was in an aquarium!

At that point, a girl tapped on my car window. I rolled down the window to talk to her, and saw that she was decked out head-to-to in preacher clothes. And then I noticed that there was a preacher standing on every doorstep in my court, preaching to no one.

And then I woke up. Teh enb.

Don’t know if Mr. #5 ever moved his damn car, but I doubt it.

I half-way woke up from a dream last night, enough to know that I had been dreaming, but not enough to be completely clear headed. I didn’t open my eyes, because, even though I was awake, I was seeing some Very Fun Stuff. It was like millions and millions of crazy images were flashing by on a giant, spinning cylinder. Flick, flick, flick, they flew by. In super-saturated color, but silent, and with dark, cloudy edges and scratches, like old home movies.

Like the Rev. King, I had a dream. Only, mine happened while I was sleeping. I had this one a few weeks ago, but it was so mind-boggling that I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit.

I was at my mom’s house, and it must have taken place before her divorce. She, my brothers, and I were in the living room, sitting around and talking, like ya’ do. I suddenly turned around, and noticed that the wood stove was on fire. Ginormous flames were shooting out of the top of it. Eeep! So, I yell “fire!” and run to the kitchen, to get the fire extinguisher. Herb (ex step-father) was standing in front of the microwave, behind which the fire extinguisher was located. I told him the wood stove was on fire, and he just stared at me like I was a pod person. Hrmph. I ran back to the living room, then back to the kitchen, then back to the living room, then back to the kitchen. Back and forth, back and forth, each time telling Herb that the wood stove was on fire (Aaack! Fire!). But, bupkis from him.

See, he was drying pot in the microwave. Very important, that, and not to be interrupted, apparently. Also, he was always a stickler for asking for exactly what you wanted, instead of either hinting around at it or waiting for the other person to offer up what you needed. All well and good, I suppose, but at times, especially when I was young, it seemed like a cruel sort of game to him.

So, my interpretation is that:

1) He was waiting for me to actually ask him for the fire extinguisher. Simply telling him the fucking house was on fire was not good enough, as that required him to supply the requisite action (“Duh, maybe she wants the fire extinguisher?”).

2) He was perfectly happy to let the world combust around him, as long as his own needs were being met. He was spectacularly selfish that way. So, I can totally see him thinking that his priorities might take precedence over others’, because often, they did. And, when they didn’t, he could be the world’s worst Whiney McWhinerPants.