Someone nuked fish in the staff lounge microwave. I think the stench may have made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Really. It’s beyond foul.
Tag: food
Olfactory Dissonance
There is something disturbing about eating oatmeal that has come out of a microwave that smells like beef stew.
Waxing Full
The moon is nearly full. It was especially pretty last night, above the treetops, with a whisp of clouds cradling it. My cheap camera is limited in what it can do in low light, so I played around with Photoshop filters to add even more graininess. When all else fails, pretend that you meant to do that, right? Or, as a friend’s mother likes to say, if something is an eyesore, “Paint it purple.”
According to my–yes, he is all mine–local weather guy, when there is a halo around the moon, it means there will be precipitation in the near future. It’s caused by ice crystals high up in the atmosphere. It isn’t fool proof, but it seems to be a good general rule.
Speaking of, I’m blaming my lack of productivity on the weather. It’s oppressive–still and humid and hot–and, while I haven’t looked at the weather forecast, based on last night’s moon halo and the viscosity of the air, I suspect it’s going to storm. This sort of weather makes me apprehensive, so I have a difficult time focusing and getting anything accomplished. I dealt with it today by watching mindless television and baking brownies. Yes, I required chocolate, so the Brownies of Dqqm have returned. I also made a big batch of roasted veggies: potatoes, cabbage, onions, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, and peppers. Why on earth I was suddenly craving baked winter vegetables in the middle of July is a mystery, but I’m not about to argue.
Yoplait Sucks
Why does Yoplait suck? Well, there are a lot of reasons, starting with the fact that it is overly sweet and of a mucous-like consistency. I personally find the taste and texture to be thoroughly offensive; however, they are not as offensive as Yoplait’s newest commercial. In it, Yoplait asks you, the consumer, to consider their yogurt as a tool in your perpetual weight loss arsenal. Cuz, you know, all women are always on a diet because all women are fat and disgusting, no matter how objectively UN-fat they might actually be.
Case in point: the woman in this Yoplait commercial. She’s so thin that the daylight shining from between her thighs is nearly blinding, and she has a washboard sternum. But, yet, she’s so scared of her big, fat ass being seen in public that she eagerly subjects herself to Yoplait Candied Snot.
Note To Self
Do not–I repeat, do not–sweeten your tea with Sucanat if you are also going to add lots of lemon/lime. Raw sugar, which tastes molassessy (onna counta the molasses has not been removed), does not taste good when paired with citrus.
Cooking with Jesus
Sacred Heart / Guacamole
Composition book journal, 9 3/4 x 14 1/2 inches, 9 June 2006
I saved the stickers from the last time I made guacamole. At about the same time, I burned the end of one of my favorite Mexican candles. I soaked the candle so I could reuse the label, and placed it on the page opposite the vegetable stickers. Since guacamole is so simple to make and it’s such a healthy food, I thought I’d use this spread to share my easy-peasy recipe.
Guacamole
2 avocados, mashed
2 large tomatoes or 6 romas, diced (I prefer romas, because they aren’t as juicy)
1 lime (lemons will work in a pinch, but given the choice between lime and lemon, I always prefer the flavor of lime)
4 scallions, minced (use both the white and green portions)
2 cloves of garlic, minced
pinch of Kosher or sea salt (iodized salt will react with the citric acid, and will make the guacamole bitter tasting)
Note: All amounts are approximate. I aim for something that is more like diced tomato salad with an avocado-lime-garlic dressing. I like chunky guacamole that, when paired with toasted whole wheat pita, is a meal in itself.
Mash or dice the avocados and add the juice from half the lime. Sprinkle with a little salt. Dice the tomatoes, mince the scallions and garlic, and add to the avocados. Mix everything together, then taste. You may want to add more garlic, salt, or lime. You can also add green chilis, hot chilis, or tabasco sauce, if you like spiciness. If you want a bit of crunch, diced bell peppers are a nice addition.
If you want to serve with chips, be careful not to over salt. I like to serve it with toasted whole wheat pita triangles. They’re whole grain and not as fatty as chips, so they’re healthier, I think. I also really enjoy the warm, nutty flavor against the cool, creamy, freshness of the guacamole.
Pablum
I didn’t put enough water in my Sturdiwheat apple and cinnamon cereal, so it ended up being way too thick. I hate when that happens. I’m not a huge fan of hot cereal anyway, so when it’s not Just Right, it makes the baby Shelly cry. The addition of a snack-sized container of applesauce fixed the problem easily enough, but lordy, does it ever make a disgusting sound when being stirred in. Aaack!
Sodas in Schools
According to a WaPo article, beverage makers have agreed to pull sodas and sugary “fruit” drinks from grade schools and middle schools. High schools students will still be able to purchase diet sodas and low calorie sports drinks and “fruit” drinks.
Adventures in Advertising
Wendy’s has a new television commercial in high rotation right now for something called a Frescata Sandwich. Now, first, I don’t think I’d make a habit of eating anything with scat in the name. I’m just sayin’… Second, it’s advertised as being made with something called “artisan” bread. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the descriptor “artisan” imply that one might expect said bread to be handcrafted by an actual artisan? Highly unlikely, so I’m calling Bullshit.
Backlog Doughnuts
The first working day of every month, we count our individual and collective backlogs (librarians really like their statistics, lemme tell ya’).
So, to make the chore less onerous, the various unit heads take turns bringing in pastry-type treats for everyone. Usually, these treats are in the form of Backlog Doughnuts. The manager in charge of that month’s treats sends a message to everyone, announcing the arrival of the aforementioned.
I’m not a huge pastry fan, so I don’t usually partake. Plus, I don’t do any of the counting of collective backlogs, so I’m never sure if I’m allowed to partake. See, one manager sends out just a general “treats are here for everyone, so eat up” message, while another manager sends out something that goes a little like this: “There are backlog doughnuts at X location for those who participated in the collective backlog counts.” Only, she sends it to everyone, regardless of whether or not they are eligible for said backlog doughnuts. Unfair, says I, to taunt us with Tasty Num Nums and then, in the next breath, forbid us to partake of them. How rude!
So, on the first working day of every month, I get cranky as hell because of the Backlog Doughnut Conundrum. Will I be allowed to have a doughnut this month? Or, will they be meting out The Pastries of Maximum Perturbation?
Oh woe is me!
red paper boat 