A coworker from another unit stopped this morning for a chat, and asked what everyone got for Christmas. I was stuck listening to everyone list off their loot.
What are we, second graders?
Category: Crankypantsing
Black Thumb of Doom
Coworker 1 asked me to water her plants. I warned her about the Black Thumb of DQQM, but she was unimpressed. That’ll learn her.
Then, the next day, the uber-boss asked me to water her plants, and while I was explaining to her why that was a horrible plan, Coworker 2 walked up, butted in, and asked me to water his plants, too. What the hell is wrong with people? Can they not see that mine is the only cube unadorned by green, growing things? And it’s not like I’m the only person working this week.
I’m secretly hoping that Coworker 2’s plants do croak. I wouldn’t deliberately harm them, but if my Plantular Death Ray has to be focused somewhere, it may as well be on his plants as anyone else’s. It’d serve him right for being a buttinsky.
Coworker 1: She left specific instructions to water them on the 26th, and to give the first plant half the container of water, then to split the second half between the other two plants. I did as she said with the first two plants, but the third one is low enough for me to see the dirt. And it was wet. I have a feeling that someone–custodians, perhaps?–watered her plants before I did. I should have felt them first, to see if they were actually dry. Damn! So now, two of her plants are surely swimming in an ocean of water.
Uber-boss: One of her African violets is actually flowering. Please, if there is a God, it will not be dead when she returns.
Coworker 2: Three spider plants, which would be just about impossible for anyone else to kill. We’ll see. I have to water them again on Friday, so it’s early days yet.
How Rude!
I’m not going to pretend to be brimful of holiday spirit, but neither am I going to pee on anyone’s Festivus parade. So, I check my e-mail, and there’s a message to the alt.books list. An international list with 7276 members, mind you. It says:
A bah humbug to all!
To all who don’t celebrate this season in any way ;-)
Now, doesn’t that strike you as just a bit obnoxious? And please to be noting the passive aggressive use of emoticons. There should be a law against that sort of thing.
What the hell is wrong with people?
December Rain
The sky actually tried to clear this afternoon, but it didn’t last long. It’s pouring rain right now. And it’s 55F. At 10:36pm. In December.
There’s something horribly wrong with this picture.
Yo-Yo!
I don’t know what the hell the problem was, but my web host was down for a few hours. As in, everything was dead: e-mail, web, ftp, and even their help forum, which is hosted separately from their websites. They tend to have a lot of outages, but never before on this scale.
Adventures in Shopping
I had to make a quick stop at Target last night. ‘Tis the season, so the parking lot was packed; the only spots open were at the very back. As I was walking toward the store, I noticed an elderly woman wandering around, looking kind of lost and forlorn. I asked her if she’d lost her car. She described it to me and apologized for being stupid. I told her not to worry, it happens to everyone. I walked down the row with her, looking for a maroon sedan with a 7A plate. It was only about 10 cars beyond where she’d been standing, so she would have found it on her own, but it was nice to feel helpful.
I forgot about the incident while I was shopping, but was reminded again when I left the store. For a moment, I thought, “That’s going to be me in 30 years.” Then, as I was standing around looking for my damned car, I amended it to, “Hell, that’s me now!”
Denied!
I tried to join a new(ish) Yahoo group for bookbinding and art journaling, and I was denied. Denied, I say! I think that’s kind of funny. It’s not like I need another group’s worth of mail to slog through or anything, but I got irritated with the idiocy at AJ2 and didn’t migrate to the new group when it morphed. I figured that replacing it with another visual journaling type group might not be a bad idea, but I guess maybe it was!
Saskatchewan Beef
There are few things that gross me out more than the sound of fingernail clippers. I have two coworkers who clip their nails at work. Why? That strikes me as the sort of personal grooming that ought to be done at home. Aieee!
Also, it smells like chow mein. I mentioned it, and another coworker said it must be her–and I am not making this up–Saskatchewan beef. I said, “Your what?!” And then I realized she must’ve meant Szechuan beef.
Kill me now.
Wet Paint in Landry Area Thanks
I did a couple of loads of laundry when I got home from work. This sign was taped to the wall in the stairwell leading to the basement. I think it’s a little odd. First of all, I’m sure they don’t mean to thank us for the wet paint. I also wonder what they want us to do about the wet paint. I mean, is there an invisible “Beware” or “Caution”?
And where, exactly, is the wet paint? I assumed it was on the walls, because that’s where the sign was located. However, about halfway across the floor, I realized I was wrong. Thankfully, the floor was completely dry. Surely, when painting a floor, one would block access to the room with the ubiquitous orange cones or some sort of barrier? Wouldn’t one? One would not, I think, place a sign on a wall. And one would definitely not place a sign on a wall in a stairwell that is a half flight of steps away, and around the corner from, the painted floor. Surely?!
They’re Everywhere!
You know how once something is on your radar, you see it everywhere? The last time I bought deodorant, I got two. I think they must’ve been on sale. Anyway, I opened the second one yesterday, and used it without really looking at the package. Throughout the day, I kept smelling Jolly Ranchers. I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, until I checked the deodorant package: pear scented.
Ahem.
The real question is, why on earth does pear scented deodorant even exist, and worse, why did I think that buying it would be a good idea?
red paper boat 