Photography

Two-faced

Joyce pointed out in comments that Ms. McTurtlePants is sporting an enlarged reproduction of her lovely face on the backside of her shell. How cool is that?

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Addendum:

I went a-Googling and found that she’s an eastern box turtle. Judging by her size and orange coloration, she’s an older model. A younger turtle would likely be yellow and black instead of orange and brown, as their colors mellow with age. Box turtles live to be about 80 years old in the wild, with some individuals living up to 100 years. They are protected in Indiana, so it’s illegal to keep wild-born individuals as pets. The shell designs vary widely in pattern and coloration. As far as I can tell, the face on the back of her shell is pure coincidence, which makes it even more amazing. Thanks, Joyce, for pointing it out!

Art, Doodles

Staff Meeting Doodles

I got home to find that the electricity had been off since 1pm. It came back on at 6:30. With no AC for the afternoon, it was ungodly hot indoors. Ugh. I’d meant to spend time mowing, then installing a new DVD burner (a treat for petsitting), but that plan has been scrapped. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, I’ve scanned a couple of doodles from my work notebook.

I’m a compulsive doodler. I used to be self-conscious about it, because it makes me look inattentive, but the truth is that I listen more carefully if my hands are busy. I think that’s why I like to have the television on while I’m arting. The hands and the brain need to be independently occupied, apparently.

Staff Meeting Doodle

Staff Meeting Doodle
gel pen on paper
9 x 6 inches

Crankypantsing

Effing Cell Phones!!!eleventy!!1!!!

I swear to god–all of them if I have to–that the next time someone’s cell phone rings, I’m going to do a Linda Blair. A mass e-mail was sent to everyone in the department, telling us to turn our phones to vibrate (or turn them the fuck off), and to go out into the hallway to take calls. So, of course, that means that the woman who sits behind me has the volume on her ringer–which is some irritating carnivalesque ditty–set to “May Induce Brain Hemmorage.” This is the third time today it’s rung, and I’m about to cry. And then there are the fuckwits who walk up and down the aisles, talking on their cell phones. This is an office, people, not fucking Kroger.

In hiring news, on which planet is it acceptable to e-mail a potential future employer, using all lower case and no punctuation? I don’t find it offensive, in that it makes no difference to me in terms of whether or not I’ll hire someone. But, I do find it peculiar. Surely, this is the time when you want to put your best foot forward? Making cavalier with the norms of written communication seems to me to be an inadvisable plan of action.

And, I won’t even address the inability to follow even the most simple of directions. I’ll just mention that, when I say “email me for an application,” I do not, in fact, mean that you should call me. Email and phone calls are two entirely different things! Considering that the job ad states clearly, “must be able to follow written and verbal directions,” demonstrating clearly that you are incapable of at least one of those things is a Very Bad Idea. I’m just sayin’…

Oh, and I just overheard a coworker say “anomynous” three times in one conversation. I wonder if she eats pasghetti for breafixt?

Photography

Ms. McTurtlePants

I did some mowing this evening after work, and was rewarded by a visit from a very disgruntled neighbor. I can’t blame him her. I’d be pissed off, too, if someone covered me in grass clippings then took my picture.

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Miss McTurtlePants was trying to get through my fence. I was afraid, if she managed to get into the yard while I was mowing, that she’d get hurt, so I picked her up and stuck her in a Rubbermaid tub while I worked. During one of my breaks, I got my camera and took some pictures. She was unamused.

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I also saw the world’s smallest bunny baby. He was about the size of a roma tomato, ears and all. He was too young to really understand the art of running away, so I got to get within a foot of him. My camera was inside, alas, so I didn’t get any photos. I got to bask in the cuteness, though, which was nice.

Crankypantsing, Ladybusiness

Yoplait Sucks

Why does Yoplait suck? Well, there are a lot of reasons, starting with the fact that it is overly sweet and of a mucous-like consistency. I personally find the taste and texture to be thoroughly offensive; however, they are not as offensive as Yoplait’s newest commercial. In it, Yoplait asks you, the consumer, to consider their yogurt as a tool in your perpetual weight loss arsenal. Cuz, you know, all women are always on a diet because all women are fat and disgusting, no matter how objectively UN-fat they might actually be.

Case in point: the woman in this Yoplait commercial. She’s so thin that the daylight shining from between her thighs is nearly blinding, and she has a washboard sternum. But, yet, she’s so scared of her big, fat ass being seen in public that she eagerly subjects herself to Yoplait Candied Snot.

Art

Happy Blow Things Up Day

I’ve had four days off, and didn’t manage to accomplish anything useful. Now that’s a rare and wondrous talent. I did some laundry, some cleaning, some arting, and a whole lotta no mowing. It’s just been too damned hot to even think about it. It’s supposed to cool off tomorrow, though, so maybe I’ll suddenly get motivated. I don’t recommend holding your breath, though.

I did manage to get some writing done. Nothing fun, but I’d been meaning to add a few things to the Tutorials & Tips section of the website. I haven’t proofed it yet, and I’ve still got a bunch of topics to cover, but it’s a start.

And, Lordy! Here comes the rain. Eeep! I hope it doesn’t last all night, because I really don’t want to drive to work in the rain. Hrmf.

Art, Paintings

Tending Medusa

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oil, oil pastel, and oil pencil on newspaper adhered to 90lb Stonehenge paper, with mirror and braided dress patterns and tissue paper
11 1/4 x 15 inches
3 July 2006

In Greek mythology, Medusa was one of the three Gorgon sisters. She began life as a beautiful maiden, but after becoming inadvertently entangled in the on-going rivalry between Athene and Poseidon, she was disfigured by Athene. Athene replaced Medus’s hair with a mass of writhing snakes, making her so frightful that all who gazed upon her were turned to stone. Medusa finally met her end when Perseus, using a polished shield as a mirror, beheaded her.

Photography

Found

Ferns

American Flags

I found these two photos in an old book I bought at a thrift shop. There’s a detail of the flags, here.

Based on the star pattern, I’m guessing that the left-hand flag is a 49 star “Alaska” flag (7 rows of 7 stars). The 49th star, for Alaska, was added on July 4, 1959 and the 50th, for Hawaii, was added on July 4, 1960.

Art, Crankypantsing

A Little Knowledge…

D’ya know what I hate? I hate it when folks insist on spreading misinformation. I especially hate it when, upon being challenged, they support their position with, “I’ve been teaching this subject for umpty years, so I know more than you do.” I’m sorry, but I don’t think it matters how long you’ve been teaching something. What matters is whether or not you ever bothered to become sufficiently educated on the topic in the first place.

Hrmf.

Folks, do not use acrylic medium as a final sealing coat. It’s not a varnish, and shouldn’t be used as one. It’s not impervious, it’s not protective, and it’s not reversible. And, while I’m on the general subject–for the love of God, do not ever put acrylic paint or medium over oil pastels.