Month: July 2006

Crankypantsing, Ladybusiness

Yoplait Sucks

Shelly

Why does Yoplait suck? Well, there are a lot of reasons, starting with the fact that it is overly sweet and of a mucous-like consistency. I personally find the taste and texture to be thoroughly offensive; however, they are not as offensive as Yoplait’s newest commercial. In it, Yoplait asks you, the consumer, to consider their yogurt as a tool in your perpetual weight loss arsenal. Cuz, you know, all women are always on a diet because all women are fat and disgusting, no matter how objectively UN-fat they might actually be.

Case in point: the woman in this Yoplait commercial. She’s so thin that the daylight shining from between her thighs is nearly blinding, and she has a washboard sternum. But, yet, she’s so scared of her big, fat ass being seen in public that she eagerly subjects herself to Yoplait Candied Snot.

Art

Happy Blow Things Up Day

Shelly

I’ve had four days off, and didn’t manage to accomplish anything useful. Now that’s a rare and wondrous talent. I did some laundry, some cleaning, some arting, and a whole lotta no mowing. It’s just been too damned hot to even think about it. It’s supposed to cool off tomorrow, though, so maybe I’ll suddenly get motivated. I don’t recommend holding your breath, though.

I did manage to get some writing done. Nothing fun, but I’d been meaning to add a few things to the Tutorials & Tips section of the website. I haven’t proofed it yet, and I’ve still got a bunch of topics to cover, but it’s a start.

And, Lordy! Here comes the rain. Eeep! I hope it doesn’t last all night, because I really don’t want to drive to work in the rain. Hrmf.

Art, Paintings

Tending Medusa

Shelly

100_2249
oil, oil pastel, and oil pencil on newspaper adhered to 90lb Stonehenge paper, with mirror and braided dress patterns and tissue paper
11 1/4 x 15 inches
3 July 2006

In Greek mythology, Medusa was one of the three Gorgon sisters. She began life as a beautiful maiden, but after becoming inadvertently entangled in the on-going rivalry between Athene and Poseidon, she was disfigured by Athene. Athene replaced Medus’s hair with a mass of writhing snakes, making her so frightful that all who gazed upon her were turned to stone. Medusa finally met her end when Perseus, using a polished shield as a mirror, beheaded her.

Photography

Found

Shelly

Ferns

American Flags

I found these two photos in an old book I bought at a thrift shop. There’s a detail of the flags, here.

Based on the star pattern, I’m guessing that the left-hand flag is a 49 star “Alaska” flag (7 rows of 7 stars). The 49th star, for Alaska, was added on July 4, 1959 and the 50th, for Hawaii, was added on July 4, 1960.

Art, Crankypantsing

A Little Knowledge…

Shelly

D’ya know what I hate? I hate it when folks insist on spreading misinformation. I especially hate it when, upon being challenged, they support their position with, “I’ve been teaching this subject for umpty years, so I know more than you do.” I’m sorry, but I don’t think it matters how long you’ve been teaching something. What matters is whether or not you ever bothered to become sufficiently educated on the topic in the first place.

Hrmf.

Folks, do not use acrylic medium as a final sealing coat. It’s not a varnish, and shouldn’t be used as one. It’s not impervious, it’s not protective, and it’s not reversible. And, while I’m on the general subject–for the love of God, do not ever put acrylic paint or medium over oil pastels.

Crankypantsing

Random Nit Picks: Little House Edition

Shelly

I’m through with season 3 of Little House on the Prairie, and have begun season 4. It’s been thoroughly enjoyable, my personal issues with Michael Landon notwithstanding. However, I have a few Picts to bone:

  1. Melissa Gilbert was not a very good actress in the first season. About halfway through the second season, she started to get her sea legs.
  2. I can’t imagine folks would’ve left their horses to stand in harness for long periods of time. Horses aren’t cars, and you can’t just park them out front and leave them standing in the hot sun for hours on end.
  3. Speaking of sun, I’ve been to Minnesota a time or two, and they have dirt and grass and trees there. Specifically, they have black dirt, green grass, and green trees. It’s woodlands/prairie there. What it is not is an endless, red dust bowl. Nor are there mountains there. And, while it does get warm in the summer, it’s not generally blistering hot, as one might think when seeing Michael Landon sweat himself to death on nearly every episode.
  4. Speaking of dirt, why is there so bloody much of it? The entire Ingalls homestead is surrounded by hard-backed, baked dirt. Much of the town is, too.
  5. What is up with Carrie? The girls who played her were terrible actresses, so I can understand why her character wasn’t ever very well developed. But, surely they could’ve done something with her?
  6. In one episode, Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash played a couple of grifters with hearts of gold. I’d never seen this episode before, so it was bittersweet to see them looking so young and vibrant. What a lovely bonus!
  7. Bunny, the horse, was supposedly a girl. Only, Bunny was clearly sporting an, um, Willie. So to speak.
  8. Did I mention that the grass is always brown? And, the dirt?
  9. The set dressing was too sparse. I know the Ingalls were poor, but surely their home collected “stuff.”
  10. When did Laura learn to swim? In the camping episode, she can’t, but in Remember Me, she can.
  11. Also, in the beginning of this episode, Mary is sporting piggy tails, which are a huge improvement over her normal hair-do.
  12. Short haired dogs cannot have poodly-haired puppies.
  13. Speaking of dogs, I really can’t stand the convention of using them in place of wolves. German Shepherd Dogs do not even remotely resemble wolves. Seriously.
  14. Again, the brown grass and dusty, red dirt.
  15. Also, did I mention that it is not always summer in Minnesota. They have winters there. And, when they do have winters, they consist of more than one isolated blizzard.
  16. When the family (and half of Walnut Grove, it seems) packs up and heads to Dakota territory, there is no real way to tell how long they’re gone. It sure doesn’t seem like that long, but the Ingalls return to find their house festooned with cobwebs and the mill owner, Lars Hanson, dying of a stroke. Walnut Grove has turned into a ghost town. But, the land surrounding the Ingalls homestead is still nothing but hard-packed, brown dirt. Not a single weed has grown in their absence.