Tag: work

Crankypantsing

Mulligan, Please?

Shelly

The Universe really shouldn’t make it difficult for me to get to work, because I might just take it as an invitation to turn around and go home. Between the elevators being out of commission and the escalators turned off, I had a hell of a time getting to the 3rd floor. And it does not help that I dislocated my kneecap and tore a ligament in my knee! Six weeks ago! It was just starting to get to the point where I could walk without it hurting or popping, so of course, I tripped over the goddamn cat last night and injured it all over again. Just in time to hike up two flights of escalator steps (you know, the extra tall ones?).

I can has do-over?

Uncategorized

Overheard

Shelly

I just got back from the cafeteria, and the guy in line in front of me asked the cashier, “Where’s the salt?” What I want to know is, what on earth is he going to use it on? He had a box o’ chicken nuggets and an order of waffle fries from Chik-fil-a. Surely, neither of those things needs additional salt?!!!

Photography

Chairs on the Move

Shelly

100_4899

They were last seen on the third floor, west tower, lined up near the elevators. There they’ve sat since December, biding their time. Over the past week, they’ve been slowly migrating to the ground floor, outside SLIS. Is this the final step in their plot for world domination? y0u hAV3 b33n wArN3d!11!!!!

20080617_006b

I, for one, welcome our new Chair Overlords.

Uncategorized

You Make Me Sick

Shelly

Conversation overheard on my way to the bathroom:

“…it made me nauseous…”

More conversation overheard on my way back from the bathroom: “…the nauseousness was terrible…”

1. That queasy feeling in your stomach? That’s usually called nausea, not nauseousness (though nauseousness isn’t strictly incorrect; it’s just kind of awkward). As in “…the nausea was terrible…”

2. Nauseous means to induce nausea. When you say you’re nauseous, you’re actually saying that you make other people sick, which I’m pretty sure is not what people mean to communicate when they say they’re nauseous, but who am I to judge? Maybe they really are sick-inducing? Anyway, the correct word is nauseated. As in, “…it made me nauseated…” or “…it nauseated me…”

That is all. As you were, comrades.

Crankypantsing

From the Department of Ridiculous Questions

Shelly

I’ve tried three times to heat up my lunch in the microwave, and each time, there was a line of people. The third time, when I came back to my desk, a coworker asked me what I was doing. I explained. My cubicle neighbor, who sits behind me and who is fixin’ to be named Miss Nosypants, asked me if it was something I had to heat up. Strictly speaking, I guess it’s not, but what the hell business is it of hers, and why would she think I’d want to eat something cold when I’ve repeatedly taken the time and effort to try to heat it up?

Veggies and rice, by the way. Sure, it could be eaten cold, but I think I’d rather go without, thankyouverymuch.

Crankypantsing

Sickies

Shelly

Ugh. I stayed home yesterday, in part because I had a hideous headache. So today (just like the day after every single day I miss work), my cubicle neighbor stopped to ask me if I had “the sickies.” What are we, 1st graders?! No, I didn’t have “the sickies,” ya’ nosy ghoul! I always feel like she’s afraid of catching the bubonic plague from me. Normal people ask if you’re feeling better, not if you’re still sick, onna counta it’s socially preferable to express concern for others’ welfare instead of obsess about your own.

That’s an improvement, though, over a former boss, who always asked me if my “systems” were functioning normally. WTF?! Dude, I had a migraine, which has nothing whatsoever to do with any “systems.” Andalsoplustoo, I’m back at work, so duh, I’m obviously feeling better, but thanks for asking in a way that didn’t make me feel like a vector of disease.

Crankypantsing

Pens

Shelly

1. It’s storming, so I’m about to have an aneurysm.

2. This woman clearly does not understand about pens. Stealing my pens is a good way to lose a limb. Just sayin’…

3. Did I mention it’s storming? Half the computers on my floor just lost power, the lights have been flickering off and on, and the blowers have shut down. Can I go home now?

Photography

Bathroom

Shelly

100_5479

The bathrooms at work leave a little (or a lot, actually) to be desired. For a start, the tile is several shades of aqua. I happen to really like blue-greens, but not so much for mismatched institutional bathroom tile. Another problem is that a lot of the fittings are corroded. This is the water pipe going to one of the toilets. Nice!

Crankypantsing

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Shelly

I just went to the supply room to get a package of Post-its. There weren’t any, so I commented to a coworker that we’re out. Her response: “We didn’t even used to have Post-its.” Oh. Alrightythen! We didn’t used to have computers, either, and yet, life without them is now damned near unthinkable.

I wonder if she’ll forsake her car when she finds out that people used to ride in horse-drawn carriages?

Crankypantsing, Videos

Gobsmacked

Shelly

Remember that Web 2.0 assignment I mentioned doing for work? The one where we had to create a fakety fake blog? Well, everyone who finished the assignment got to go to a pizza party today. I didn’t go, because spending my break time socializing with coworkers is not exactly my idea of a reward. Not that I dislike my coworkers or anything, but I’d rather not spend my time at staff parties because they–staff parties–make me cranky.

Anyway, I guess they did a brief Power Point demonstration with shots from everyone’s fakety fake blogs. One of the shots contained a still of a YouTube video of someone’s kid. The folks who did the presentation sent a follow-up e-mail later this afternoon, with a link to the actual video, suggesting that we might need “an afternoon laugh.”

I made the mistake of watching it. Since it was ostensibly work related (and humorous!), I figured it ought to be pretty benign, right? Oh my. The video was of a kid crying and whining about having to eat a green bean. And then he vomits. And then the dad says, “Oh shit!”

WTF?!!!

On the other hand, it may be the best illustration I’ve seen of why kids shouldn’t be forced to eat things they’re vehemently opposed to. I mean, really, what the hell was accomplished by trying to make the kid eat a green bean? And is that a hill you want to die on?