No new artwork, because my studio is still a gawdawful mess. I may actually have a chance to remedy that this weekend, but I wouldn’t recommend holding your breath or anything. I have, however, been hard at work, watching a ludicrous number of home improvement shows. HGTV and I are BFF, dontchaknow?
Anyway, something I’ve noticed, and that annoys the crap out of me, is the way folks paint. Now, we’re talking about interior house painting, not art painting, but the main principle is the same. Basically, what you see on most home improvement shows is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrongity, wrong-wrong. I had the fortune (or misfortune, depending on your perspective) of being taught how to paint by my ex-stepfather, who in turn learned to paint from his father. The family business was house painting and wall papering, so.
- If your roller is making sucking noises, it is way too dry.
- If your roller is splattering flecks of paint all over the place, it is way too dry.
- Invariably, the rollers pictured on teevee are TOO EFFING DRY. Do not fear the paint, folks. By not loading the roller with enough paint, you are just creating more work for yourselves. A lot more work. If nothing else, painting with a too dry roller will fling paint all over the place, which makes clean up a giant pain in the ass. Done correctly, you should be able to paint both the walls and ceiling without getting paint on the floor, yourself, or even any specks on your glasses.
- Do not roll in a haphazard, criss-cross pattern. You should always roll from top to bottom, in overlapping, vertical strokes.
- Rolling from top to bottom will alleviate the splatter problem (though there oughtn’t be a spatter problem, if your roller is properly loaded), as any paint that does spatter will spatter toward the wall. Physics is our friend, folks.
- Rolling in an overlapping, vertical pattern will provide the best coverage. The roller will apply the thickest paint toward the end where it attaches to the handle, because that is where the pressure is greatest.
- Any time you go over an already painted area, you are actually removing paint, not applying it. Why anyone would want to spend hours and hours rolling paint off a wall is a mystery to me, but maybe that’s how some folks get their kicks. Not me, though. I actually enjoy interior house painting, but I don’t see the point in creating more work for myself.
- By overlapping the edges of each rolled section, you will match heavy to light, creating an even application of paint.
Not that I think this will actually be of help to anyone. I just thought I’d explain why home improvement shows–which I otherwise find irresistible–tend to make my hair hurt.
red paper boat 