There are certain human behaviors that drive me batshit crazy. One of them is smacking and generally making excessive noise while eating. It’s nauseating. This is why I find the new KFC commercial to be both perplexing and offensive. Why would anyone in their right mind prefer the sound of chomping and smacking to that of polite dinner conversation? I mean, the whole point of sitting down to eat with others is that it’s a social experience, right?
This revulsion of mine is not consistent across species, however. What is sickifying in humans is thoroughly charming in, say, canines. Miss Brown gets her evening meal split into two portions: an after school snack and a bedtime snack. When I get home from work, I let her outside to potty while I put kibble in her bowl. When she comes back inside, she goes immediately to her bowl, grabs a mouthful of food, shoves her nose in my face, and proceeds to rub her kibble-crumb-encrusted lips all over me. While wriggling euphorically and chomping and making all manner of otherwise smicky-smacky lip noises. Ah, Teh Cute! It is to die for! Truly, it is about the most adorable thing in the whole wide world, as far as I’m concerned. But, if a human did that to me, I’d have to kill them.
red paper boat 