Recently, there seems to be a recurring theme in several of the online fora I read–from blogs to mail lists to newsgroups–wherein someone in possession of unflattering private information about another person decides to share that knowledge publicly. I can only think of one purpose for doing so: it is a form of punishment. It’s a way for the aggressor–and it is an act of aggression–to get back at the aggressee by publicly humiliating her for being noncompliant.
On the surface, it may seem like a small thing–just one person getting a jab in at another’s expense. That’s the insidious beauty of it, though, because what lurks beneath is, I think, pretty heinous. The underlying motivation comes from the aggressor recognizing that he has lost control of the aggressee. Public shaming is then called upon to bring the wayward party to heel. Moreover, the aggressor can do this while presenting himself as the victim. Flawless victory! It’s perfect, because it not only allows the aggressor to bully himself back into a position of control, but it also dehumanizes and devalues the aggressee in the eyes of others.
Except that that’s not always the case. Sometimes, folks see through the ugly little charade, and when they do, the true aggressor and aggressee are pretty easy to identify.
red paper boat 