Please, if you are going to send your drivers to southern Indiana, first make sure that they have at least a passing acquaintance with hills, curves, and narrow country roads. That goes double for anyone travelling to Owen County.
On my way home, a Ford Explorer with Illinois plates pulled out in front of me (from Rice’s Meats, for those playing along at home). As I followed Mr. Illinois up the next hill, I knew I was going to be in for an adventure. He was in the freaking middle of the road. Going up a hill. Hello?! All the way into Spencer, the driver remained in the center of the road, except for the few occasions when he drifted all the way over to the left shoulder. Aieee! Luckily, he was also going all of 20mph. The speed limit there is technically 35mph, but most folks go 45mph. Obviously, Mr. Illinois was not from around here.
It wasn’t long before there was a long line of cars behind me. None of us, I’m sure, was amused. I almost had to applaud, though, when Mr. Illinois won a game of chicken with not one, but two school buses. He continued down the center of the road, forcing both buses to pull off onto the grass to avoid hitting him. Considering how many times I’ve been run off the road by the local bus drivers, I couldn’t help but laugh.
By the time we’d reached River Hill Cemetery, I had finally simmered down enough that I figured it might actually be entertaining to watch the inevitable train wreck as Mr. Illinois attempted to navigate the switchback curve descending into town. I was not disappointed. The real train wreck nearly occurred in town, though, when Mr. Illinois actually stopped on the tracks on North street. Traffic was backed way up, so maybe he was confused, but actually stopping on the tracks defies common sense.
I ended up being stuck behind this guy all the way to the Patricksburg Road turn-off. When speed picked up west of town, he was all over the road. At that point, I couldn’t decide if he was drunk or if it was the first time he’d ever been behind the wheel of a car. Truly, it was the most amazing spectacle-on-wheels I’ve ever seen. And, living in Owen County, I’ve seen some ridiculous death wish driving!
red paper boat 