Freeman Farr wants to turbocharge my portfolio. I’m pretty sure that’s not legal in Indiana. Clearly, I don’t have enough spam in my life. You would think that, having been born in the Spam epicenter of the world, that wouldn’t be the case, but You Would Be Wrong. Just ask Freeman Farr, if you don’t believe me.
The Eyes Have It
I went to the eye doctor last week. I figured that, after four years, it was probably time for new glasses. I also wanted to get a new prescription for contacts. I haven’t worn them in ages, and probably won’t wear them very often now, but it would be nice to have them as an option. My eyes are continuing to improve, for some weird reason. I also found out that my left and right contact prescription are the same. Yay! That means I can buy just one box at a time, instead of two, which will make playing around with colored lenses more economical. I was torn between hazel and grey, but this means I can get a box of each. I win!
Eroticon
Eroticon was last weekend. That is legal in Indiana. I worked the door, taking tickets/money, which was pretty entertaining. I like working the door because I get to see what everyone is wearing. The downside is that I have to touch either tickets or money from everyone who walks through the door, so if anyone is sick, I’m likely to catch it. It also lasts until well after my bedtime. I got to leave an hour early, at 2am, but by the time I drove by the bank*, then drove home, it was nearly 3am. For those playing along at home, that’s an hour before my usual wake-up time. Egad.
So, I got home at 3am, had a bedtime snack, because I hadn’t eaten since 4pm the previous day, and watched some food porn from a big box of taped teevee I borrowed from friends. Then, I went to bed and slept for nearly 36 hours. Partly, that was due to being exhausted. Mostly, though, I think I was fighting off some sort of plague. I woke up a few times and felt congested and feverish, so sleeping it off was probably a good idea. I also had a killer headache, which I think resulted from switching back and forth between my old, too-strong glasses and my new, just-right contacts.
I have to say that I appreciate having a dog who understands the importance of a good nap. Aside from meals and potty breaks, she was perfectly happy to curl up and sleep. And sleep. And sleep. Of course, that also meant that when I did wake up, she was bouncing off the walls–very cutely, I might add.
A Few Things I Have Recently Learned
1. Do not attempt humor when your audience has no sense of same.
2. Always carry protein bars, or some sort of non-perishable snack food, in the glove compartment of your car.
3. The fewer channels of teevee you receive, the higher the percentage of revolting sports programming.
4. Drunken frat boys are pretty much the same, through time and space.
5. Alan Alda keeps getting more and more amazing.
6. No matter how early I leave for work, I will get stuck behind some asswagon going 10mph under the speed limit.
7. No matter how fast I am driving, I will have some asswagon tailgating me.
8. Never try to make a bank deposit at 2:30am.*
9. I love love love having a CD player in my car. I am no longer a slave to Quality Rock (Real, um, Variety). Jeebus be praised! It’s nice to be able to listen to Southern Culture on the Skids or Nick Cave or Rasputina, instead of frat rock.
10. I think I’m enjoying having a single-dog household.
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* My bank has closed all but, I think, three of it’s local branches. It has also stopped allowing deposits at any but the branch ATMs. Bastards. So, I had to haul my ass all the way to the south side of town to make a deposit. Everything went well until I realized, as the machine was sucking in the envelope, that I hadn’t included a deposit slip. Oops!
red paper boat 